Post Partum Mood Disorders

[IslandDreamer]

Hi All,

Thinking about the connection between hg and ppmds and wondering what it's like out in the forums. Myself, I had hideous problems with ppmds with my first child...so bad that I prefer hg to the postpartum period...that's how bad. I had perinatal depression, and after his birth had ppocd, ppanxiety/panic disorder, ppdepression, ptsd, and pppsychosis. Treatments included therapy, Celexa, and Prozac.

With my second child, a hg m/c, I have (in my opinion as the doctors seem to lack clear opinions) ppocd, depression, and very mild anxiety (no panic attacks at all...they happened multiple times each day the first time). The doctor thinks I actually have mild bipolar syndrome, but that I will get better and off meds...which makes me think it can't be bipolar since that is a lifetime diagnosis and means lifetime meds. (Frustrated in Michigan.) Treatments thus far have been Effexor RX (nightmare) and Lactimal, which I started yesterday. Doc did prescribe Lithium, but I refused to take it since the diagnosis wasn't clear...I was not considered post partum...huh? Got a clearer diagnosis last visit, sort of. I have actually been slowly improving without meds, so I'm hoping the Lactimal with increase the rate of healing.

A diagnosis after an hg miscarriage or termination is considered a yes vote here. If you are willing, please note in a response which ppmd you had, maybe even successful treatments.

Suzanne

[IslandDreamer]

I tried to list another option of ppmds after 4 hg pgs...computer didn't post it....if this is your case, please post a response with the number of times you suffered.

[JennyRob]

I also had depression and anxiety during my pregnancy. The main symptom was pathological fatigue, and it went undiagnosed (even by my psych dr!). After my son's birth it became raging insomnia; I was in such denial and wanted so desperately not to be depressed that I tried to treat the insomnia and ended up (10 very strung-out *months* later) in the psych unit and was suicidal for 5+ weeks.

After three months of aggressive Paxil & Seroquel, I came out of it. I'll be on Paxil the rest of my life, I'm sure.

The ppmd was, unbelievably, worse than the HG. It was much harder on my family, that's for sure. They were both experiences that brought me closer to death than I had ever thought possible.

I suspect that the Reglan and Zofran I took for the HG made the depression and anxiety worse. At the time (first trimester), my life was so miserable that my panic attacks and complete collapse seemed like reasonable responses to the world. But, in hindsight, I think I had psychiatric responses to the meds that went untreated and just snowballed.

I now run a yahoo group for women in my area who have ppmds. It's a good resource; people feel so alone and don't get treatment early enough. It's a lot like HG; misunderstood, mismanaged, and miserable.

Jenny

[Christi]

I suffered from perinataldepression (if that is what you want to call it! I call it HG H*LL). I then had such a severe overall pregnancy, that I felt that something was wrong. I think on some level I felt like I was betrayed by my body. My labor was easy and the breastfeeding a cinch. But at about 3 months I realized I wasn't sleeping. I started painting every room in my house a different color...in the middle of the night!
So...after the hubby couldn't take it anymore (about a year pp and 30 layers of paint), he took me in to see someone. I was lucky to see a psych. that specialized in women's issues. She diagnoses me as "Post Pardum Psychosis displaying as Bi-Polar disorder, rapid cycling." So in short, I was treated for 3 years. I couldnt take anti-depresants alone, due to the natural mania. I was on a mood stablizer too. When I decided to have a second baby I wanted off meds. She weened me off. I had no issues with the second pregnancy. I think this is because I knew what was coming.
This is my 3rd baby. I think if I had this support with the first one, I might have made out better.

[JennyRob]

That's so wonderful that you got treatment (eventually), and made it through another pregnancy without problems! It's heartening.

I also felt very betrayed by my body. I'd always been very fit and active and looked "healthy." I'd always been cycling in and out of depression, sometimes on SSRIs, sometimes just reducing stress to get out of it. But, I'd never experienced anything like the depths I reached during pregnancy. There were numerous times I thought I was close to death, but I didn't even recognize it as depression. Very weird.

I had severe aggitated depression, and all the signs of psychosis except for hearing voices. So, I don't know if it was really psychosis or not. But, I believed all kinds of crazy things, and was living 5 seconds at a time. Life gets realllly slow when you feel like you can only bear it for 5 more seconds.

Oh well. This is really a HG forum, not a mood disorder forum. But, I do believe that the Zofran and Reglan set me up for a much worse experience.

Jenny

[chichie]

I had depression during the first half of the pregnancy, that is ti say during the HG in fact. But at 6 month, I had just refound my body when I had the worst shock of my life. I lost my brother (I know I'm a lucky girl... ). Of course I depressed as never but the context is quite special. Nevertheless, I just remarked that when I burried my brother I did not vomit more than usually, and not at all as much as at the begining of the pregnancy. Tell me after that HG is psychological

[thisbattymom]

I couldn't vote?
I think I could/should have been diagnosed as PPD/PTSD had I had anyone to listen to me durring the first 3 yrs of DD life before I got it mostly under control.

I was very irratic and irrational about the littlest nothing for weeks after the fact, sometimes not even reacting to it till a few hours later, sometimes reacting too much. I had flashbacks and episodes where I locked myself in a closet and screamed/ranted like a lunitic. I had nightmares and insomnia and periods of sleeping 75%+ of the day. I had sweats and episodes of nausia/weakness. There were times where I wanted to hurt others/myself or just abandon DH and DD - but I always was able to recognise a limit nd stop myself.
I would break down and bawl in public or have to leave just b/c I saw a pregnant lady. I just wanted to warn her of what was going to happen as much as I was angry I couldn't have had that "glowing" pregnancy. I did confront several ladies in my more uncontrolled moments. I still get emotional when I let myself remember my pregnancy and birth experience.
I still feel afraid and all but I am getting better. I have frequently concidered doing the whole "pregnancy" thing again. I have a date in the future I am waiting for in hopes there will be more answers and I will be ready w/ a better support network. I don't want my last experience to be my only one b/c I want to change what happened.

[teddi]

I was definately depressed during my first HG pregnancy, though I really think that was due to the HG (and the worst of it was due to the steroid therapy). But that was gone after birth, and then I just had normal baby blues.

This time, yes, I haven't been diagnosed, but I do think it's PTSD...still dealing =( And yes, it's bad enough that I'd trade this for another 6 months of HG. I have a hard time seeing pregnant women. I just got invited to a baby shower yesterday. My immediate reaction (thank god it was via internet) was breaking down crying but this is from the birth trauma, not so much the HG

[bibliojo]

(((Teddi)))

I had ppd after ds so I can understand somewhat what you are going through. I feel for you.

Have you talked to your dr about this? They can maybe suggest some counselling to sort your feelings out (I know this helped me alot) or meds?

Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Joanna