My wonderful wife...

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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My wonderful wife...

Postby andrew31 » Mar 15, 2006 5:11 pm

It is amazing to think that it has been six months (Sept. 17th) since my wonderful wife and I walked down the aisle at our wedding. Neither one of us could have imagined on that beautiful night how fast things would change in such a short period of time. As my wife approaches her 22nd week of pregnancy, life as we know it (and most who are reading this post know it) has been turned upside down. From the thrill and excitement of starting a family to the agony of watching my wife suffer with dehydration, migraines, constant vomiting and depression. The first 6 weeks were a breeze- no morning sickness, healthy appetite, working out. Then right after Thanksgiving a bomb dropped in our home.... that bomb was the onset of HG. Our first visit to the ER lasted almost three days- it was during this time our doctor diagnosed her with HG and explained the severity of what she might face during the pregnancy. In the beginning family and friends did not and could not understand. It was not their fault as the majority (99%) have never heard of the rare condition. Even I was a little hesitant to understand really what was happening to my wife. The more research we did the easier it was for me to identify with her suffering. Nothing would work though, the Zofran eased the nausea yet caused severe migraines. The B-12 and Unisom combo would leave her lethargic and angry. Vomiting in the toilet became as regular a sound for me as listening to the birds outside. As the months have passed by and the condition has worsened with no end in sight, the only thing that gets us by is that July 17th due date and reading some of the posts on this board and seeing the happy healthy pictures of some of the children. There are days we both feel beat down... she feels isolated... I feel useless. Watching my wife throw up into her salad bowl at the dinner table and knowing there is nothing I can do just rips into my heart. It absolutely amazes me that through all of this the baby is getting everything it needs. There are times my wife thinks that the baby does not want her to be its mother. That the baby is doing this on purpose. Words cannot express how sad that makes me feel. She knows better than that though some days she really feels that to be the case. It is hard since we have no family here and do not want to put too much pressure on our friends. Everyone has been so sincere but my wife feels embarrassed and does not want anyone to come around. Now that she is entering the final trimester we hope for the day she wakes up and feels somewhat normal. I cannot wait to tell our family when that day comes. But if it does not come we know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Days when she is down the most- I try and console her and have her imagine holding our happy healthy baby. As a man, I will never understand the courage and conviction that it takes to be my wife right now. She is a hero to me and I will remember forever what she endured through this pregnancy.....
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Postby bmc » Mar 15, 2006 8:47 pm

I feel for what you and your new bride are going through. It is extremely tough. I can't imagine how you two feel being newlyweds. My wife and I have been married for years and HG has been tough on us! I hope your wife appreciates your support, because some of the husbands mentioned on this site give us guys a bad name. I'm sure after the birth of your beautiful, healthy, child she will come to realize what a man really is. Keep up the good work! I know what you mean about feeling "useless." We as men want to "fix" everything and HG is something we have absolutely no control over! Hang in there. It sounds like your doing everything you possibly can. Don't be shy to lean on those friends who have offered to help. It took me awhile to accept help from others, but when I was completely exhausted, frustrated, and angry I finally accepted that help and I kick myself for not asking sooner! You need to be able to recharge your batteries for your wife. I know! If you read some of my past posts in the other forums, I seemed to be at wits end. ASK FOR THE HELP! It makes all the difference in the world.

Don't look for it to just end one day, but rather look for small improvements such as vomiting less, feeling a little better one day, eating and drinking a little more, etc. Small improvements will give you hope that you and your wife are on the downhill side of HG.

My wife and I are right there with both of you. We are due July 20. So if you need to vent, talk, or ask advice I'm here and willing to help just as I've been helped here. Your wife IS a hero and so are you for standing by her with your support. I can't tell you how much that means to the ladies. My thoughts are with you and your wife. Now go call those friends and ask them to help with whatever the two of you need!
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Postby Neil Myers Jr » Mar 16, 2006 7:12 am

hey Andrew,
I know some what how you feel. My wife and i were married 4 months before we got preg. ,and 6 months before HG hit. Its hard some times. You and your wife are blessed to have one another. Its ok to ask for help . At one point you just don't have a choice.
Husband of Sarah Myers
son Sam 12
HG baby Caleb
Neil Myers Jr
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Keep it up...

Postby DonnyJM » Mar 16, 2006 4:11 pm


My wife is due just 2 days after yours and just the last few weeks she has begun to feel slightly better - therefore there is still hope for you both - it just seems to come in small increments.She probably will not feel completely better just more able to do some things which make her feel part of the normal world again.

Your wife does sound wonderful and so do you - remember how you have managed to get this far which is such an achievement. Keep on supporting her as you have been doing and together you will get through this.You are counting down now and soon this baby will have the best mother who has gone through so much to bring it into the world .

At times she may not seem to always appreciate the help you are giving making you feel useless but that is due to how bad she is feeling - but I am sure she does or will when it is over.

I would try and seek as much help from her friends as you can - if they are good friends they will not judge and will want to help anyway. She should try not to be embarassed (she is ill...) but help to educate those that don't know HG exists let alone realise how bad HG is. The more support you have around you the better.

I have called in a few favours from friends either with looking after our daughter (she is 5) or by getting them to to visit (if she feels up to it) or to telephone my wife when I had to go to work for meetings etc.. or just to give me a break and her a change of scenery/company.The isolation of being ill long term will get her down and if you can fully brief your friends they will want to help - perhaps print some things off here to take for them to read.

Feel free to contact me if you need to let off steam or want to talk .

Keep your spirits up...

Father of Eleanor (age 5)
Husband of HG'er due 19th July 2006
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