Some times Its just OK

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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Some times Its just OK

Postby Neil Myers Jr » Mar 13, 2006 9:33 pm

Hello Everyone,

I would like to share something that i learned in the early stages of HG. Sometimes its just OK. Its OK if i need to cook. Its OK that she doesn't do the laundry (if you need help to know how the machines work the ladies here can give us some instructions). Its OK that she doesn't feel well because I'm sure that if she had a choice this is not the way she would choose to feel. Its OK if she goes and lays down. Its all going to be OK.

There is more I would like to share. That feeling you get when your wife cries and begs for your help. It shows how much you desire to help. I hope that feeling never goes away. The simple truth is all you can do is hold their hair; hand them a wash cloth; and tell her you love her from the bottom of your heart, and you are there for them. I'm sorry that we can't do more.

If you would like to talk to someone E-MAIL me at
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Postby carla » Mar 15, 2006 2:40 am

Thank you for your post! I know I appreciate it and I am sure others will love to read it as well. Can I add, not that I am trying to be pushy, but if you need to cook, can you do it outside on the BBQ?? :mrgreen:

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Postby PamelaRose » Mar 15, 2006 9:28 am

What a great reminder--it really is ok! One of the fondest memories my husband and I have of HG is what was then a terrible blow-up when he threw a fit about the lack of neatly-folded laundry. I was just out of the hospital and barely holding my own, vomiting every time I thought of moving, and the sweet man said, "I don't see what the big deal is. If I put the pile of clean clothes on the bed beside you, you could fold them without having to get out of bed." :lol: We laugh about that now, and you know, it really was ok. The birth of a healthy baby at the end of that HG pregnancy far outweighed the frustration of wearing wrinkled clothes for a few months!

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Postby Gracie » Mar 15, 2006 11:16 am

Just a hint for the guys out there:

MMMMM..... nothing an HG'er loves more in the early stages than the ultra-strong scent of a whole pile of fresh laundry. :roll: Please understand that your wife may prefer NOT to have her sheets or pillowcases washed as a surprise to make her feel better.... the strong scents can be a horrible trigger and when it feels like the whole world is just a mass of scents and triggers to your HG, and your bed and next to the toilet are your only safe "refuges" its enough to make you cry that you cannot even lay on your pillow without wretching violently for hours.

One day, she will understand the sentiment involved in your nice surprise, but PLEASE just ask her if she thinks it would be better or worse with clean laundry. If in doubt, wash one pillow case and if that sets her off, at least there is a second that doesn't smell like fresh laundry and the sheets are still okay. If it doesn't set her off, then wash and rinse, rinse, rinse but skip the fabric softener.

Thanks... hopefully I can save a few well-meaning Dads some major meltdowns when they thought they were helping :D
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