When does it become too much?

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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When does it become too much?

Postby FriendInNeed » Oct 07, 2012 8:56 am

Hi, im new to the forum.

My friend has been suffering with HG since about 6 weeks (now at 16wks), hospitalised 3 times but been "home" for 3 weeks, although she's staying with family as she cant bare to think about going home right now because of smells/thoughts etc. from when she was really ill. Shes stable now with antisickness drugs although she tends to be sick in the morning before medication. She is able to eat small amounts of food and water now and can walk around slowly but sometimes needs help.

She has lost 3stone since becoming pregnant and although she is keeping food down mostly, its only a small amount and she isnt putting any weight on (perhaps because she is so weak that just walking and talking is using up the calories shes eating??).

Her family and friends are being very supportive but the suggestion of termination has been raised by her more than once (although not from any medical person as they dont seem to be involving themselves with any sort of aftercare, no sign of a midwife yet either).

My question to everyone (particularly those that sadly had to have a termination), when is enough enough for the health of the mother and the baby? Im concerned that she wont be able to cope with the full term physically or mentally if she stays this ill and even if she recovers today, at 16 weeks with 3st weight loss, will she she have the strength needed to carry and grow a baby and come out the other side in one piece physically and emotionally?

I know everyone is different and she will be seeing a doctor soon but i would like to get the opinion of those that have been through it first. I want to be there for her with a balanced opinion but all i see right now is my friend getting further and further down and weaker and weaker with it. She's 35 and this is her first pregnancy.
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby ruthamelia » Nov 25, 2012 5:04 pm

I'm surprised I don't see any replies and you posted this several weeks ago! So I'm going to stick my neck out and answer. Your question has all kinds of social, emotional, political, and other implications, and isn't something one person can answer for another. But here is a perspective from an HG mother. Several times during the worst of my pregnancy, my mom asked me "Is this worth it?" and I told her I couldn't honestly say yes. Personally I do not support abortion, so I was shocked that that was the best answer I could giver her. My daughter is now nearly 2 years old, and from the moment she was born until now I have heartily answered the "was it worth it" question with a YES. In the middle of hyperemesis I felt like I took a daily journey to hell and back, and routinely said "I'm just trying not to die" but every moment of that was worth watching every moment of my daughter's life. I may not have been able to see it then, but I am so glad that I get to be a mom now, regardless the temporary cost to my body.
daughter 2/21/11 HG wk4-birth
?? due 11/30/14
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby DebbieS » Nov 26, 2012 10:20 pm

Just saw this post too. Like ruthamelia, it has been worth it to have a baby, HG and all. I had HG all through my pregnancies and found after birth to be great, not only because the babies were healthy, but also because I wasn't sick anymore. Termination is hard emotionally, you are left without a baby & and there is a good chance of getting HG again in a subsequent pregnancy anyway.
Deb
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DS 2003; Loss 2005.
DD 2007.
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby Saberry » Dec 05, 2012 1:49 am

I had two abortions due to HG. I just figured there was something terribly wrong and my doctor didnt know except "morning sickness". I throw up everything including air it seemed. Right after the abortion I felt better. The second time I knew there was something wrong with me. I terminated the pregnancy and never got pregnant again nor could I think about being pregnant. I didnt even know of this condition until princess Kate. Only your friend will know when its too much. If i had a friend like you who knew about this condition and was dedicated on helping me 20 hours a day, I would of kept my baby. Just help her and try to support her.
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby DebbieS » Dec 05, 2012 2:11 am

Welcome Saberry to the forums. Very sorry about your losses and what you have gone through - and to go through all that you did not knowing about HG. So sad. Glad you found these forums, and hope you can find some answers here.
Deb
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DS 2003; Loss 2005.
DD 2007.
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby witch_baby » Jul 15, 2013 12:26 pm

Sayberry, I once had a miscarriage after a month of being pregnant. From the moment I thought I was pregnant HG set it. It slowly faded after the miscarriage. I didn't feel better right away. It took about a month to fully go away. I once also had an emergency termination. I had it from about 2 weeks after pregnancy for 2 weeks. I am sure it was HG as it was terrible. The feeling did go away right after the termination. I am pretty sure any pregnancy I have will be an HG one. I have been told every pregnancy is different, but obviously not for me.
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby aleezysam » Nov 13, 2013 6:29 am

First off, I'm sorry that you are dealing with HG, it is truly a life-changing and unfortunate disease. Secondly, I think you will have better success posting in the trimester and/or medication folders. There you will find other women who are currently pregnant, and you can swap ideas.
i am happy with reading this site braindumps.net and for more info ISC and for more details Youtube
for further details you can aslo see Amazon good luck..
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Re: When does it become too much?

Postby HGMama3rdTimeAround » May 30, 2016 12:00 am

First question is, what does your friend want to do? I am a firm believer that we HGers are some of the strongest women in the world. Has she mentioned abortion? If not, then you probably shouldn't. Maybe check out the friend/family support guide so that you can help her in the way that she wants. Often times, onlookers give what seem to be solutions to our pains, but misunderstand the pain of termination. I've termination 2, birthed 2, and now allegedly carring twins and though it is a struggle (life and death), it is so worth it in the end. I am in love with my children, and I love them all the more having sacrificed my life for them even before I ever met them. I am sick all the way until labor starts and so far every pregnancy has lasted 40-40+ weeks, so I KNOW it ain't easy. I've done it as a teen and terminated, as an adult single mom (pregnant from rape), and as a grown woman unmarried but in a terrible relationship with no support over 30, and now at almost 35 as a wife and mom of two. Geateful to God that all of my kids are healthy and have no major birth defects or cognitive impairment. They are gorgeous, bright, and thriving!! No matter, FOR ME, it has been worth every second of this hell-on-earth to enjoy the heavenly seconds of their everyday lives. It take me about 3 years to recover fully, and probably a MAJOR reason why my kids are all about 5 years apart. Stair-step I don't ever wanna try. People ask me if I'd do it over again and I say, "well I'm on pregnancy number 5 so then obviously for me, it's worth it."
I said all that to say what other moms are showing you, IT CAN BE DONE!! It will be pure hell, but it can be done, if she wants to do it. To each his/her own, so whatever is beat for your friend in her situation is what she should do and you should support.
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