I feel so helpless

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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I feel so helpless

Postby sarahbdevost » Dec 13, 2005 9:38 am

My SIL has HG and I feel so helpless. She and I are really really good friends and I hate to know that she feels so horrid. I wish I could do more, but I live in MD and she is in OH. She has 2 other children, her oldest, 7, is being great, making breakfast for his little brother and being a good boy. Her husband seems to be helping her somewhat physically, but I doubt he is helping emotionally, since he has been mentally abusive to her in the past (since he stopped physically abusing her after their separation). Urgh, the only thing I have been able to do for her is call her to keep her company, and of course pray for her like mad.
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Postby mandy » Dec 13, 2005 9:46 am

Wow, what a great SIL you are! By calling her and talking to her, you will be a great comfort to your sil at this horrible time. It is hard when you have hg as the entire world seems to carry on and you feel nobody understands how you are suffering. The first few weeks people call but after asking how you feel for the tenth time, and you say 'Awful!', people tend to disappear.

Just stick around (via the phone), send little cards with encouragement, letting her vent and cry etc will be a great service you are doing her and she won't forget that you were there for her.

Watch out for her medically, encourage her to stay hydrated and seek medical help if in doubt. Hg is a very lonely illness and I wish I had had more people like you there for me whilst I was suffering.

All the best, Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
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Postby Ivydragon » Dec 13, 2005 3:31 pm

You can learn about HG, and encourage her to come here. Sometimes when women are sick they just can't get to the computer, and you could help to educate her from what you learn here, and feel free to ask lots of questions. Find out what meds she is on, and reassure her that she'll make it through. How far along is she? Has she had HG before?

I'm sorry that there is a history of abuse in their relationship. Many times men fear a great deal for their wives' health, and even non-abusive husbands are sometimes not emotionally supportive.

You are already doing a lot. Keep up your efforts, and please keep in touch.

Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .
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Postby sarahbdevost » Dec 13, 2005 4:35 pm

She will be 11 weeks Thursday. She had HG with her last pregnancy but I think it is worse this time. She has gone from 140-20 in 4 weeks. She has been on Zofran, and it didn't work for her. She doesn't have ins right now(won't until January) and it was like a 1000 for a 2 week supply (I think that is what she said). I have given her this website, from what I have read here it sounds like she needs talk to her doctor about having a regularly scheduled IV, I think currently she is doing what so many do, which is get the IV then go home and hit rock bottom and then go back for another.
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Postby Ivydragon » Dec 13, 2005 5:45 pm

Does she qualify for medicaid? That can be life-saver!

12 weeks is typically the peak of HG, usually the worst, however symptoms can certainly extend beyond that for a long time, and remain severe if she isn't getting adequate treatment. Has she tried something as simple as B6/Unisom? Has she tried Phenergan or Reglan in the past? These options are much less expensive. Would she qualify for home-health? Depending on their $ situation, she may have no choice but to go in for a regularly scheduled IV. Some Drs. offices will do this as an in-office visit, or will send patients to an IV clinic vs. the ER or hospital. She needs to find out what her options are - difficult at best when you're so sick with HG.

HG is known to be worse with each subsequent pregnancy.

Keep in touch.

Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .
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Postby Chedasha » Mar 22, 2006 7:36 pm

Hi there its very hard to watch someone go through this isnt it??

She probably does need the regular IV. Here where I live in Australia this was always a hospital stay for my sister. She would go in as you say when it got rock bottom and would be rock bottom for a few more days till the IV fluids kicked in then a few brief moments of feeling okayish.

She had tried it all .. we were just about to get the nod to use Zofran as luckily for her one of the nurses when they put her in the maternity section had suffered HG so their was a sympathetic ear and someone prepared to take action.

THough my sister was ill the whole time nauseous and unable to swallow her saliva.. she spat for nine months.. the first about 15 or so weeks she vomitted constantly then yes miraculously overnight the vomitting stopped.. she did have a few attacks of it bought on my heartburn... but she was more able to cope from that day on.

Just keep on supporting and inform her of all the information. Make sure her and that husband of hers know this i a medical condition not a mental thing.

Kat
DD Estella Dawn 06/06/2011
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