For the dads...

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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For the dads...

Postby HelenA » Jul 31, 2005 2:56 pm

This is an insert that my wonderful partner wrote in my online pregnancy diary, When I read it I cried my eyes out, but his words are from the heart so hopefully it will help other men with understanding HG and how to help. We now have our beautiful daughter, but I see we have more men on here now and also more crackering from the men!! Hope this might help someone.

Hi, i'm Pandy, Helens partner. Now before i begin i must tell you i'm not good with words, as Helen will tell you,, lol, she says me and words don't go together, , lol
I was just finnishing work for the day, parking my truck up for the night (10pm ish ) and i got a phone call from Helen saying " When will you be home ? as we need to talk". From the tone of her voice, i knew she was worried about something, so i half jokingley said " your pregnant " i was right for once. She was worried about what my reaction would be. I was happy at the news then, but after a few months of what the HG was doing to her it was a differant story.
Helen was a very lively bubbly person, full of life and energy.
But once HG took hold she was the complete opposite, although she tried to put on a brave front, and all i could do at the time was just stand by her and try my best to just be there for her. As the medical system could not do anything for her as they did not diagnose it as HG all they said was it is morning sickness.... even after several phone calls to the NHS helpline, doctors and visits to her own doctor who still will not diagnose it as HG although the hospital said it was, as she had to spend a night there as she had dehydrated so much.
The HG got so bad for her she even thought of terminating the pregnancy, if she had of, i would have stood by her decision, knowing that that could leave mental scars, but what is worse, HG or abortion ?
So what can one do as a partner ?
Well the only thing i could do was give her lots of TLC and just basicaly be there for her.
I changed my shift patterns so that i started work at noon, that way i could tend to her needs in the morning before i went to work, ie washing and cleaning etc, i'm not the most domesticated person but i got on with it, although at times by the end of the week i was a bit tired and got a little bit grumpy because of it, it was not as bad as what Helen was going through.

I could not cook food in the house, as the smell made her sick so when i went shopping i went to the cafe and got a cooked meal that way when i needed it.
She tried once to help out with the house work, i forgot to put the coffee table back into the centre of the room, so Helen thought she would do it, as she was feeling a bit ok that day, it set her back a couple of weeks, and was violently sick again, plus she would feel ill and helpless, not used to just sitting doing nothing all day and had to incase it agitated the HG.
So if any other partners or husbands read this the only advice i can give you is Just be there for her,give her lots of love and support, pamper her, make her feel wanted, as according to our medical experts it is all in the mind, which we know it is not, so if they cannot help, we must try.
Helen - 31 My blog
The Kids websites
Who cares for the carers? My blog about caring for a stroke victim
Kimi - 28th May 2005
JJ - 22nd Sept 2006
James - 26th Oct 2007
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Postby izhak » Aug 02, 2005 7:36 pm

Thank you for sharing that with us. To Pandi, I tip my hat to you. We all know how harsh HG is on the women both physically and mentally. Well, it is also tough on the partners. I hope that stories such as this and mine will help the partners know that they are not alone.

Keep one thing in mind, through all the crap that the two of you go through, at the end of that nine months, there is nothing like seeing ,and holding your child.

To all out there, I wish all of you as easy a pregancy as one iwth HG can possibly have.

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Postby Schultzy » Aug 17, 2005 2:57 am

Thank you!

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Postby -samanthakay- » Jan 07, 2007 9:02 pm

So sweet brings tears to my eyes :hugs:
Angelina DoraMae Sev HG 3-38 weeks
Born 3-3-07
I also have two great bonus babies(adopted stepsons) Devon 18 and Tristin 15
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