Advice to Family Members

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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Advice to Family Members

Postby Summer » Dec 30, 2006 12:18 am

Hi Families!

I had HG from 6 weeks until delivery. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through-mentally, physically and emotionally. My advice to you is educate yourself. Understanding what your loved one is going through is priceless. Provide much encouragement to both the HGer and her husband/significant other. (It is extremely difficult for the fathers) Don't force her to eat or drink. She can't. Believe me, if she could, she would. Try to alleviate any stress that she may encounter (money, kids, job etc...) Stress will make her sicker. At one point in my pregnancy, it literally hurt to talk, so I didn't. If she mumbles something, try to listen closely. If she doesn't repeat herself, don't get upset.

My mother would re-make my bed a few times during the day. That was wonderful. Understand that she may feel depressed, angry, lonely and sad. I hated being pregnant and I felt extremely guilty. Tell her that it is normal to feel that way. It doesn't mean that she loves her baby less or will be a bad mother. She is reacting to the sickness.

Just sitting quietly with her is therapeutic. If she gets to the point where she can go out, take her for rides-get her out of the house. If it is her first pregnancy, tell her that she can still enjoy her baby shower. I was on an IV my whole pregnancy and had to be pushed in a wheel chair, so I understand. Try to plan her shower at least 2 months before her due date and let her know when it will be. She will have something to look forward to. My baby was born premature, so I am glad that my shower was early. Also, have it at someones house. She will need to be comfortable and know that she can take her time. This may seem trivial to you, but it is important to her.

Let her complain and talk about how she is feeling. You don't always have to say something, just listen.

For all husbands, please understand that she cannot be there for you. No matter how bad it is for you, she is a million times worse. She loves you and needs you more than ever. Build a support network for yourself. You will need it too.

Make sure she goes to a specialist. Do some research and find out who is in the area. She is going to need special care. She is way too sick to do it herself.

If and when she starts to eat, get her anything she may crave. Even if it is junk food. She may be able to eat one day and then not be able to for weeks. There is no pattern to the maddness!

If you have any questions, please write. Just know, that at the end of all this misery, there will be a precious baby!

Good Luck and God Bless!!!
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Postby Chedasha » Feb 17, 2007 6:16 am

That is great advice. Thanks for sharing it. It seems to be oh so true.

I know my sister was mentally exhausted through her whole pregnancy. It took everything hse had and then some. She just wanted out of that pregnancy every day.

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Postby Nana » Feb 17, 2007 7:58 am

The same with my daughter Erin. She is mentally and physically exhausted. She is now 15 weeks. Her HG lasted her entire pregnancy with her son but it started later this time so we are all praying it will not last the entire time. If it does we will deal with it though. Her husband is trying but sometimes he's not very understanding. He thinks if she will just eat and drink Gatorade she will get well. She hates Gatorade even when she's not pregnant. The only think she can even think of drinking right now is Mountain Dew.

The hardest part for me is watching her suffer and knowing I can't make it stop. As a mother you always think you can make your child well but I can't this time and I feel so helpless sometimes. The only thing I can do is support her and help take care of Stephen. I wish I could just give her medicine and make her well like when she was little.

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