Update =(

[SkunkPaw]

Well I had my apt with my PCP dr today discussing my PPD. I wrote down how I was feeling instead of speaking cause I just CAN'T let those word come out of my mouth. It is to hard. He was so disturbed that he took off his glasses, put his hand on my foot (I had my legs crossed), and looked me in the eye and told me that my little baby needs me more than just nursing. He gave me his personal pager number and said that if I start getting bad to page him every 15 minutes until he calls back. He said that he was going to personally take care of my PPD, aniexty, and migraines. He said the most horrible news... I HAVE TO STOP BFING!!! I was already crying, but I cried even more! He said that I have suffered enough and that my little girl better know how much I love her cause I have put up with all the pain for way to long. I even called my dd dr to see if I could still bf, just to make sure cause it means alot to mean that I bf. She said no, cause the meds he has me on are dangerous for her.

He has me on Seroquel for PPD and Axert for migraines...

SO that is why I am so sad.... I can't bf any more! I know that all you bfing moms knows that it builds the bond between you and your baby and it is something special that you can do for her. My PCP told me that it is more importnant that I get well, than it is for her to have my milk. SOOO WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY??? I know I can't handle this PPD without meds.... I just need some support right now..

Q - for all you bottle feeders... How long is a bottle good for? How do you do the nightly feedings?

[Gracie]

Chaz,

BF builds bonding but not if poor Mommy is stressed and anxious and depressed and suffering migraines. IMO, your little one will be so much better off with a bottle and a Mommy who is getting help and feeling better... PLEASE DO NOT get upset about having to stop nursing. The simple fact that you will be holding the little one in your arms and cuddling and be relaxed while giving a bottle is ample bonding.

Take care of yourself!

I haven't prepared bottles for 8 yrs, but once prepared they are good in the fridge for 24hrs if done from concentrate so you can make the overnight bottles in advance and just have them ready for heating. If you can afford it, there is a system that keeps 2 bottles at your bedside... it keeps them just the right temp. I think I saw it at Toys R US so I'll look on the site and try to track it down.

I'll be thinking of you!

[Marie]

Chaz,

After my second HG pregnancy I knew that I was going to have to bottlefeed because of my experience after I gave birth to dd. I was aware that I would have to start antidepressants straight away, and because of that I would not be able to bf not to mention going back to work, but thats a different story.

The hospital will tell you that a bottle is good for an hour after prepared. I was told by the ped that it would be safe for two hours. If baby is coliky then it is a good idea to use the ready prepared vs the powder because when you shake it up to mix the formula more bubbles form making baby gassier. When I switch dd from breast to bottle she had a hard time with the regular formula, so sometimes its trial and error till you find what works best for your baby. Tyler is still on Aliemtium (sp?) for reflux, and at first I had him on the already prepared, and as he got older I switched him to the powder which he tolerates fine.

Getting into the habit of making bottles is a pain at first, but once a routine is established its not so bad. I also love that anyone else can help me if need be.

I am glad that you are getting taken seriously. I was ready to hop on a plane to come to you!! Please know that you are not alone, and if you need anything don't hesitate to pm me. I can also shoot you my phone number if you'd like to chat.

Much love to you,
Marie

[Marie]

Ohhh I was talking about bottles left at room temp . Refridgerated they are good 24hrs.

Love,
Marie

[PamelaRose]

I'm glad your doctor took you seriously and is getting you help. If it's any consolation, I only breastfed one of my three children, and I can't say that I'm any more bonded with her than the others. You bond by being there for them, by parenting them, and feeding is just one small part of that. All the best to you!

[IslandDreamer]

(((Chaz))))

I am so grateful for the care you are receiving. Praying the meds do their work fast.

I am very sorry about the bfing. Guilt...ya...but doc is right that your baby needs YOU more than she needs bf. I had to stop with Chris, too. I'm sorry.

Jack and I are very tight, and he has been a bottle baby from the start. The milk production and responsibility were just too much for me, and I knew this before he was born, from what happened with Chris. I promise, you and your little one will be okay. And perhaps some help with night feedings could be a benefit to your health...aka more sleep.

Jack's on a soy formula, Isomil, and uses Gerber bottles. Chris has allergies, so we moved Jack to soy in the hospital after he puked cow out his nose (stupid nurses for not listening to me). Some babies like different bottles. Jack is tongue-tied, so soft, small nipples are needed for him.

Promise Promise it will be okay. The baby will be okay. And so will you!

Love,
Suzanne

[IslandDreamer]

Here's a link to docs in your state:

http://www.okpostpartumsupport.org/

[Jenny]

Chaz,

I was breast feeding Zachary as an infant and had it so programed in my head that I just HAD to make it for a full year. When I had a car accident and was unable to continue I carried guilt around for years!! I felt like such a failure. Now I look back and think, duh, I was totally doing what was best for my son and my own health. It was necessary.

I am very close with all of my boys and I nursed them for different amounts of time as infants and if they want their way, they all complain the same, and if they get their way they all hug the same. Honestly, your relationship with her will be fine!! You love her enough to get well for her, what more could a baby want?

[dwtegli]

I bottle fed all three of my children and I bonded so well with them. I cuddled them and hubby cuddled them while feeding. My hubby loved feeding them their bottles as much as I did. The most important thing is to get you well so that you are able to take care of your little one. Please don't feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed any longer. I had that guilt after Tatyana was born. We had so much trouble getting her to breastfeed in the hospital that they threatened to put in a feeding tube. I told them "no way, you will give her a bottle before you do that". She wound up being bottle fed, and we didn't even try with the other two. I carried guilt for a long time about that one.

(((HUGS)))

[BrandiJK]

(((((((((((((Chaz)))))))))))))

Firstly, I am so happy that your being taken seriously!

I understand the bfing thing. However, everyone here is right. You will bond better with your baby if you can hold her and relax into eachother more then just giving her your milk. She'll know you want to be with her, and enjoy being with her, rather then feeling your tension in your arms and body. And hun, you deserve it yourself to enjoy this little one you worked so hard to get here!
Don't let the guilt get you down. Formula is so advanced now days! Your baby isn't lacking. When you feed her, keep up with the skin to skin contact. Once those meds start to work with you, the difference in experiance will be rewarding and positive!

Sending you lots of love and hugs sweety!

[bratty477]

Hi Chaz,

All the ladies here have already said what I wanted to say. If you are transitioning to bottles, it may make it easier if you get the orthodontic nipples. I found that I was easily able to move from breast to bottle without any problems using these nipples. I had milk production problems so my DD was mostly bottlefed.

Take care of yourself...that is the most important thing that will benefit both yourself and your baby.

Kristin

[rjdecker]

Chasidy,

When I started out bfing Michael, he didn't do well at all with the medication I am on. But I have to have it. I would fall apart if I didn't have it. And my other kids were suffering because mommy was tired, and anxious and onry and Michael was screaming all the time. My NP told me that bfing is good for baby, but sometimes it isn't the right answer. Mom has to be able to care for her children. As soon as I gave Michael a bottle, it was amazing the difference in all of us. I was able to relax and let someone else feed him, and I was able to do other things, like hug my other kids, who really needed me.

I did get crackered the other day. But I am pretty proud of myself. I spoke up. My friend was complaining that she has to go bf whenever something good is happening and I nodded my head. But then she said she doesn't think a bottle is good and she wouldn't dare give her baby a bottle, that bfing was best. I just looked her straight in the eye and said, "I didn't have a choice, Michael had to have a bottle." It made her shut right up. She knows why I am bottle feeding, not because I want to, but because I have to. yes, I felt guilty and cried over it for a time, but I am so much happier. I feel so much better, and so does Michael. He was really miserable and it hurt to know I was causing it!

I am so glad that you are finally being listened to. It is about time! I am so glad you are getting some help.

Jenny

[Gracie]

Chaz,


Wal-Mart here in Canada now has these nipples with little "bumps" around them like real human nipples. The tip resembles what your nipple looks like just after the baby is finished with it (lovely image.... I am sorry! )

If you want me to send you a pack or two, I would love to. Just PM me and I'll have them out to you the next day!

[teddi]

Chassidy,

Just saw this thread. I'm so sorry you have to stop b'fing. I feel sadness and guilt too. I was *so* determined to bfed my twins. HA! Noble thought, but very hard for HEALTHY moms, let ALONE moms who went thru 9 months of HG, and then have to recover from THAT, AND start taking care of an infant(s).

With my son I stopped after 2 months. I was soo exhuasted, it's my opnion and my experience but bfing was harder physically than bottle feeding. The having to hold the baby longer, and higher up, stressed my sooo tired muscles.

Sometimes I still feel sad. I *barely* nursed my girls.

Cherish the time you did get to b'feed her. You did it for the first 6 weeks, which is the time they are getting the anti-bodies, so that is actually a wonderful gift you gave her.

Grieve the loss of nursing whenever and for however long you need to. It's ok to cry about it, and don't try to supress your feelings.
It's a real thing, a great experience you are having to give up. But so much MORE important is you being healthy, and functioning, and happy. A miserable nursing doesn't = a better mom. So much strength you show by taking care of yourself.

A year of PPD and PTSD I can say that. I'll always wish I could have nursed, but I know that the alternative (you having to go to the hospital for mental health) would be harder on everyone.

[mrsbigdog]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I know the bf was very important to you and is another loss you now have to deal with.

That said I will tell you that I bottle fed my first two and am now bottle feeding my newest. I totally understand the benefits of bfing but to me I felt it was important that my body have a chance to recover from the HG and that I would recover faster if my body was not dealing with bfing. This was a mental as well as physical thing for me - mentalling I needed my body back after being sick for so long and physically I felt I needed to replace what I lost in my body.

While bottle feeding I always hold the babies in a position mimicking a breastfeeding hold sunggled close to me (I require this from anyone else who might feed too - like my husband). My two older girls are 17 and 11 and we are very strongly bonded. They did not suffer from bottle feeding. They also had few early childhood illnesses so I don't truly believe the "fact" that bf babies are healthier.

I use the Playtex nurser bottles. I currently have eight bottles/nipples and I try to prepare as many as are clean at a time. I know everyone said they are good for 24 hours but I think the instructions say longer than that. We go through about 7 or 8 in a 24 hour period so I don't have them sitting around for longer.

I like to make the bottles ahead of time and keep them ready in the fridge. To warm them I just put one in a large cup filled with hot tap water for a few minutes and it reaches the right temp. My sister always just had a couple ready with the powdered formula in them and used warm tap water when she needed one. Whatever works for you is best.

As far as nighttime - when my daughter wakes up I get her out of bed, go to the kitchen and put a bottle in hot water, change her diaper and return for the bottle which is usually warm by then (sometimes I have to let the dog out too). It really only takes a couple of minutes.

I will be happy to answer any other questions you have if you want to contact me personally. Good luck and hope you are soon feeling much better!!!