Sigh

[SkunkPaw]

I have been debating if I should post this or not. But I think that I just need reassurance from you guys that I am not losing my mind.

I have had a range of emitions - as we all do... Right this very moment I am about to go out of my mind with ds. He is always wanting to go bye bye and I want to take him but fear if I do I will transfer the RSV virus to DD somehow. It is going around really bad right now. Or that I will leave her with dh and he will not do something right - he is so good at that. This has gotten to the point to where we don't go to church, we don't leave the house and before anyone holds dd they have to santize their hands - twice. I am so scared at night that she is going to stop breathing that most nights she sleeps on my chest. Or right next to me. I am so scared that she is going to choke on her reflux that every time she makes a noise I am right here breathing down her neck making sure she is ok. I have only had 3 hours of sleep since yesterday. I woke up @ 3 pm yesterday and I am still going. This could be due to all the other problems I am having with my body the pain and what not.

I thought by now week 3 I would be more ready to get out of the house or even let ler sleep in her own bed. But I can't let her out of my sight. ESP with Ds around. I am so scared that he is going to hurt her. I keep seeing all these bad things happening to her. Like one of us dropping her, or her head just being crushed out of thin air.... Is this normal???

I feel like I am losing my mind. Not only that. I feel like I annoy everyone. Like I am that person that no one likes and just talks to bc they have to. Ya know that person that no one likes that is always annoying no matter how hard they try not to be. I feel like I am that person and it annoys me! ARGH!

[Gail]

I'm not sure if that is normal or not but could you get some kind of medicine to help you relax, like ativan. I know how stressing a newborn can be, so try to get something to help you relax since you can't seem to on your own, you poor thing. As for the not going out, I have a friend whose baby was born in Dec and she took her to disney world in Jan. Spur of the moment thing she told me. I told her she was stupid!! But her baby is fine. She's kinda ditzy and doesn't always think things through. Just try to relax and get some sleep, can your mom come over for a while to help dh out, so you and ds can get out?

[mrsbigdog]

I can relate to your worries although I am not as extreme as you. We do go out alot but I was very worried about RSV because my 11 yr old daughter has been sick and had a terrible cough yesterday.

I'm afraid to hang anything on the wall of my new daughter's wall near her bed just in case it might fall off the wall and smash her head.

She is having a bit of trouble with spitting up and I too am worried about her whenever I hear her making a noise.

With my first daughter I could not stand for anyone holding her to go anywhere near the staircase because I was certain that they would fall down the stairs while holding her.

I am able to deal with the worries and not allow them to rule my life but I can relate to the fears. If you are not able to go about your normal life or get any sleep than it might be time to talk to a professional or see about getting some medication to help you deal with the stress. I know for me once I am so worried that I can't sleep than I am too tired to deal with things and then I fall into a viscious cycle.

I hope things get better for you soon!

Donna

[SkunkPaw]

Thank you fro your replys.

I went to my PCP today to talk to him about all my problems - but I didn't mention this on or the gall bladder - it just slipped my mind! These are impacting my life and I didn't even bring it up. I have no idea what has come over me. I have been going to this dr for about 8 or so years and love him. He was my dad's dr. I had blood work done to check for RA and a lot of other stuff. I actually was able to let one of the nurse's hold her. She weighed her too a whole 9 pounds.

I had to go to the ER today for my stupid migraine and they only gave me one shot and that didn't work so I called my dr - in tears - and he finally gave me some pain meds!!! They have helped alot, but he told me that I might have to stop bfing cause he doesn't think I need to suffer. I don't want to quit but he said that I can't get on the right meds until I quit.