Wife admitted last night to hospital for HG/depression

[Warrenad]

My wife is 19+ weeks along in our pregnancy. She has had the worst experience in her life. She has been in and out of the hospital needing fluids and medication. This has been since about week 3. Last week she passed out and had to be taken to the emergency room. Ever since then it has gotten worse. She was on Zofran and Reglan. She was just put on Zoloft a week ago. They have decided to pull her off of all of her medicine to see what she really needs. She is completely fatigued and I think over medicated. All of this has resulted in extreme depression, so I took her for a mental assessment yesterday and she was admitted. She is so physically and mentally upset that she sees nothing to fight for. We already have two beautiful daughters and this third one was not planned. I am so worried about her. She is a wonderful wife and mother. I try to tell her everything she has to fight for, but she just can't see any way out.
Is there anyone out there that has been through this and could offer any tips on what I might do or say?
I welcome any comments or suggestions.
Thanks.
WA

[mammaclare]

Warren, I think that you are doing the best thing by just being supportive of your wife and being her advocate to get her care.

With only three meds (Zofran, Reglan and Zoloft) it is hard to imagine her really being overmedicated. However, I completely agree with stopping the Reglan as many women have found depression to be an awful side effect. I personally, without knowing your wife's history or health and without being a doctor, have to say that the Zofran and Zoloft are both important right now. One for her physical health and one for her mental health.

If you can perhaps remind her that each minute she struggles through is one more minute, hour, day, etc that she never will have to live again. For me that one thought got me through some really dark days. A

Also, her health will be best if she is hydrated and if she has enough sleep so anything you can do to take all stressors away and ensure she is as rested as possible will likely help.

It is so hard to feel like there never is an end to the sickness. Did she have HG with your other two? If you can tell us something about her other pregnancies, perhaps that may help.

Hugs-

[foxwoodfaerie]

Warren,
You are doing good by getting her the help she needs right now and being supportive and caring.
I have suffered with depression all my life and it hits especially hard during a difficult pregnancy.
The best thing you can do for her is make sure she is getting the meds she needs and take away all her stressors. You also need to talk to her frequently, listen to her cry and be there for her. Tell her she is strong and that she is doing the most important job in the world right now by carrying your baby. Hearing these things in the midst of a depression can give her something to hold onto.
I have been hospitalized for mental reasons but never during a pregnancy and I can understand that she is probably very scared and feeling incredibly alone right now. Please make sure that you are visiting her as much as you can and that you take time to visit her without the other children with you-she may need a break from them. You can also request counseling sessions for the two of you together while she is a mental inpatient. I've done this with my husband and it helped immensly.

I am hoping the Zoloft works but I know a lot of people it doesn't work very well for, including myself. If you don't notice a positive change within a week, please ask that she is tried on something else. Wellbutrin is a VERY good antidepressant and is safe in pregnancy. You may want to request it if the Zoloft doesn't work. It is common for Paxil and Prozac to not work either if Zoloft doesn't work on a patient as they are in the same group.

Good luck and hang in there! Get some help for yourself if you need it-I know that depression can be extremely hard on the spouse as well.

Ruth

[IslandDreamer]

Hi Warren,

I just replied to your other post and saw this one.

I think hospitalization is the safest route if your wife is so depressed. I did not plan to be pg ever again and was so miserable when I got the positive test for Hope because I knew hg, perinatal depression, and ppdepression were on the way. I can relate.

If she sees nothing to fight for, then she is likely not able to hear what anyone is saying right now. In all honesty, the best you can do for her is keep her safe and supervised, and the hospital should be both for her right now. I'm so grateful that you see what is happening and see it is the illness, not her. Thank you for being her advocate.

You will need tremendous patience, as you already know. And be prepared for the depression to lead her to say painful things such as wanting to put the baby up for adoption...I would scream that at my husband when pg with Chris. I was soooooooooo miserable physically, and so completely depleted that I developed pretty serious perinatal depression that was completely overlooked.

Some things you could do would be to bring flowers if the smell won't make her sick. Have the kids draw her pictures. Take her a nice new set of pajamas or some special stuffed animal to hold. Maybe even a fuzzy baby blanket to cuddle and remind her of the positives...but this one could backfire too.

Ideas for words: I love you is very important. This is not your fault and I understand that. I'm not mad.

I also wonder if naming the baby would help her to bond. We didn't learn Chris's gender. I struggled to bond during the pregnancy and have wondered if knowing would have helped me with that.

Finally, when she feels better, please ask her to visit with us and let us support her.

Suzanne

[Juliette Punchello]

Warren,

How is your wife doing?