sad

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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sad

Postby AstronomyNut » Apr 17, 2013 4:00 pm

I went into a cafe today because DH and I were driving back from a fetal echocardiogram appt today. It was about an hour and a half away so we thought we should get something on the way back. And I was so hungry but everything in there had things on them that I have aversions to. It made me upset that I couldn't find anything to eat.

And that made me start thinking about how this has pretty much taken away the much bigger choice to have a lot of children. I've always wanted lots of kids but after this, DH is pretty sure he will never want to do this again. And I'm not sure my body could handle it, especially if it's worse the next time around. And I just can't stop crying because it hurts to bad to not be able to have the family I always wanted.
Due July 2013 -- Mild HG
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Re: sad

Postby Kayfroebel » Apr 18, 2013 12:36 pm

I feel you here. Ever since I was little, I wanted a larger family. I always told my husband I wanted a3, or even 4 kids. With the first one, we thought it was just a fluke. Yes, the pregnancy was bad and a I lost a lot of weight at the beginning, but I got better in the second trimester before relapsing in the third. When we found out I was pregnant again, we were nervous about it happening again but we werent positive it would. Well it did. And it came back with VENGEANCE. This pregnancy is awful. I have lost a stupid crazy amount of weight, have been on more medication in the past 8 months than I think in the entirety of my life put together, and am surprised they havn't just assigned me a permanent room at the hospital I am there so much. There is absolutely no way I can do this again. It breaks my heart to say that, but it's true. Even IF I wanted to, my husband would never allow it. My family wouldn't either!

However, just because you feel this way now doesn't mean it won't change. As time goes on, more and more medications are being studied. True, there may never be a full cure, but the power of awareness can be instrumental in HG. Just look at the members who have managed to have 'slightly fluffy' pregnancies after HG. It's all in the treatment. Don't rule it out just yet :)
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Re: sad

Postby leahmsilverman » Apr 18, 2013 1:43 pm

I've felt that frustration too. My husband and I both wanted lots of kids. At least four. And then we decided to stop after two... of course here I am with the third but this was, well, very much a surprise. Anyway, I'm doing a tubal ligation this time around, which does bum me out a great deal. But, I console myself with the idea of adoption. My sister has adopted two beautiful girls and we love adoption in my family. So, I always tell myself that I can always to that if I really want to. I know it is not the same though. It totally sucks that HG makes these decisions for us.
DS 12/22/08, hg from 10wks to birth
DS 09/15/10, hg from 6wks to birth
DS due in 08/2013, hg from 4wks to birth
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Re: sad

Postby AstronomyNut » May 02, 2013 12:39 am

Thanks so much for the support. I feel like only people who have been through HG seem to get how much this situation sucks. Other people just kind of brush me off when I mention how heartbreaking it is.
Due July 2013 -- Mild HG
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Re: sad

Postby Sage&Babe » May 02, 2013 1:02 pm

Yes, I feel your pain. I have also been brushed off by people who tell me that "each pregnancy is differnt". Yes, that may be so, but to miss so much work (and not be compensated when I am not at work even though I'm a salary employee) combined with the expensive medical bills and losing tons of weight (I lost 45 pounds) does not make the thought of going through it again very inticing. However, looking down at my precious (and HEALTHY) not quite 2 month old baby boy, I think that I COULD go through it again. My husband and I always said that this baby would be an only child during my pregnancy when I was so ill and he had to watch me suffer. But, I look at the miracle that I was blessed with and think that I could handle it again if I were to have an equally healthy baby.

Hang in there and don't be sad. The future could bring about some wonderful medicine that could ease our suffering. Better yet, maybe you would not be stricken with HG again. :)
Mother to a healthy baby boy delivered at 36 1/2 weeks on March 8, 2013 after battling HG
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