My journey into motherhood has been an uphill struggle from day one (DH had had a vasectomy for 7 years before we met). I have suffered terribly in TTC and have had too many losses along the way. My pregnancies have been extremely hard and my son has a lifelong battle ahead of him.
I cannot do this again, ever. This time round has been much worse than before and that is hard to comprehend as I still remember last time and it was awful. I feel like I'm in a living hell. I know come July it will all be worth it, but it is so far away.
My son means the world to me. I never thought I would ever have one child let alone two so I know I am incredibly lucky. Had it not been for the HG I would have taken a chance on a third baby and the possibilities of m/c, but I just can't do this anymore. I am so sad about it, but nothing will ever change my mind, it is too hard.
DH can't do anything permanently, having already had a vasectomy and then a reversal. I can't take hormonal BC as I have had a history of blood clots and DVT so I will either get an IUD fitted at delivery to give my body a bit of a break, or if I end up with another c-sec I'll ask (in advance) for a TL. Either way I think TL has to be the way because I am just too scared of ever being pregnant again.
I'm sad