We want to adopt. Where to start?

[bandmom]

I'm having dreams about another baby. I know we aren't done, and I also know that I can't have another one by myself. I don't know how my body and our marriage could handle it.

Where do I start? Please help. I have a beautiful 2 month old baby girl right now, but somehow there is a sense of urgency. What do I do? Who has experience with this?

thanks,
Heather

[peanut]

I think it depends on who and where you want to adopt. I know I have looked into this some (not a lot, I'm sur ethere are those who have more experience than me). I also have the sense that our family is not complete yet.

If you want to adopt oversees you can check out adoption agencies. Different countries have different rules about how long you have to be in the country before you can take the child home and how old the child can be before you adopt (just to be aware that sometimes they lie about the childs age and say they are older so that they can be adopted - this could cause issues when you get home and the child is not "developmentally" advanced).

If you want to adopt in the US you can go through a private agency and see if you can get a baby. It will probably take a LONG time and many years to get a baby.

There is also the possibility of adopting a special needs child (this is more what I was looking into). These children are either older (and therefore harder to place) or have some special need - anything from ADHD to diabetes. Many states have a website that will have a picture of the child and a brief description of them. The children on this site are from both private agencies and from the public foster system. Also if you adopt a special needs child, sometimes you can also qualify to get special monetary (and other) assistance from the governement to help offset some of the costs of treatment.

Also there are tax exemptions you can get no matter which way you decide to adopt.

I know that Ivydragon has adopted so maybe she would be able to give you more information?

[desirayd]

Hello,

I could help answer some questions you may have about International adoption if you are interested-especially China but also some other countries. Feel free to e-mail me directly if you have questions. I am a huge advocate for adoption as I believe it is a wonderful way to add children to you family while also helping a child have a good and loving home and there are SO many orphans in this world.

I have 3 biological children ages 7, 5 and 9 months. I had HG with all 3 children. It was so very difficult, but I can say now that it is over with that it was worth it as I have 3 beautiful children now. When I was in the middle of it, I would never have said that. My husband had a V after our 3rd child and so we are done having children biologically. However, we are in the process to adopt a minor/correctable special needs girl from China. We are in the paperwork stage and hopefully all of our paperwork will be over to China by July or early August and then we will be waiting for a referral. We have always wanted to adopt, but HG made it a sure thing. We also lived in China for awhile volunteering at an orphanage over there. Check out the website of this amazing orphanage over in China. It truly is an awesome place where so many children are being helped. You can see me and my family's pictures under the "our team" section (John and Desiray Christen) www.chinaorphans.org


E-mail me at desiray.christen@chinaorphans.org if you want to talk more about adoption. I can help anyone get started on the adoption process. And, don't let the cost scare you away. The costs are spread out over many many months maybe even years AND there is a $11,000 tax credit that you will get back after your adoption is complete. We are by NO MEANS rich and we are able to do it.

Have a great day!

Desiray Christen

[sweetpea]

We would also like to adopt, but are right now planning to go through the Foster Care system. If you only foster children whose parental rights have already been terminated, you will more likely be able to adopt that child. Plus, adoption through the state is free!

[spottedowl]

.. be careful with that urgency.. you could have PTSD.Even after my older child adoption, I felt like I need more and more children... what a weird feeling.... How lucky you are to have a baby, enjoy that time.

[sweetpea]

We became foster parents through our state and got a 3 month old baby girl when our HGlet was 10 months old. She is now almost 15 months old and a wonderful part of our family. The court just started proceedings for Termination of Parental Rights and we're hoping to adopt. We've had a great experience and can't imagine doing it any other way.