by Ivydragon » Oct 23, 2004 11:29 am
Hi Anna!
Our visit went great. In retrospect I found it interesting that we spent more time with people we know because we adopted Adam, than with anyone else on our trip.
Anyways, we had pictures taken of Miu w/ all of the kids again, and saw Deacon. When we saw her she was working two part time jobs and seemingly doing well. Deacon is living w/ his paternal Aunt who has a baby of her own and is married as well. Miu's figured out her own foster care for Deacon, in my opinion. Sees him a few times a week. Is moving around so often from place to place that no one knows her address - like every few weeks. She does have a cell phone, now, and a bank account, too. Deacon looked well. He's about the same size Adam was at that age and has developed a bit more of his own look. Still clearly brothers by blood, but Deacon doesn't look as spittin' image of Adam as he used to. Deacon just goes and goes and goes. Thank goodness no one has the three of these little ones actually all together (Miu even agreed to that one) - someone would be clinically insane by now! Deacon is clearly attatched to Miu, but he also preferred Miu's ex-step mom over me or anyone else brand new to him and he'd only visited with her once before, so I'm hoping his attatchment is real to Miu and not just because she's familiar.
I left Utah feeling pretty good about the situation, I must admit. Hoping that Miu doesn't once again conceive soon, and hoping that she actually saves up some of that money she's earning so that she can get her own apartment and bring Deacon back to her own care. I really wonder how long her ex-boyfriend's sister is going to want to watch Deacon for her. Nadine (Adam's 1/2 sister's adoptive mother) went back to the restaurant Miu was working at (we visited with her there on her off hour) because of interest with her husband in finding a franchise to own, and inquired about Miu. She'd called and quit the week after we were there. The restaurant was sad because she'd been one of the best workers they'd had in a really long time. I just hope that she had a good reason, like a better job, to quit. I've not even bothered to find out for sure - I prefer to hope that she had another job to quit for, but her track record isn't good, and I don't want to know if she didn't. I'd start worrying all over again.
We also saw Adam's birthfather, grandmother, step-grandfather, great-Aunt, uncle, their kids, and great-grandmother and great-grandfather! Adam's birthfather has another girl pg. She's due in March. They aren't together anymore. Adam will be four in Feb. In March he will have 3 half-siblings younger than he is. Do we contact this new family to keep him in contact somewhat with a 1/2 sibling on the other side, too? Might she consider placing for adoption w/ us if adoption is on her mind so that they'd be 1/2 siblings together? Too much for me to consider.
All we know for sure is that we aren't done adding children to our family, and that we can't afford to adopt, and that we won't get pg again. Good thing I'll only be 30 in Dec. . . time is on my side, still.
Finally am able to put my miscarriage to rest. Received the surest sense that the child was a girl, my girl.
I have been chaotically busy, still. Living a teenager's hours when I'm 10 years past being a teen isn't exactly easy, but I'm not willing to send Hiroko off to school w/o someone there to wish her goodbye in the morning, and you cannot predict which nights she'll be up until midnight needing help on homework. I'm always playing catch up on sleep. The kids are on track with their homeschooling, I have 5 piano students, dh now has 2 part-time jobs, trying to make ends meet. I joined the piano teacher's association, and also have my name out there in a few places for accompaning (my favorite) for pay. I'm also in a singing trio learning challenging music. It's been a long time since I've had anything challenging musically, and I'm greatly enjoying myself - and I'm singing better than I ever have before - soprano, surprise surprise to me who was singing tenor last year - thought I'd lost my range, lol.
Trying to balance my schedule so that I can put more time in here, and keep my house clean, too. Finally carved out every other Friday for scrapbooking. DH says that God doesn't want us to be too overloaded, to take too much on, and he wasn't too happy when I told him I already was. Happy, though. One thing's for sure about my life right now. No time to pine for what has been lost, or to wonder when the next baby is coming. Hardly time to talk to my husband - but just enough time to miss doing so.
Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .