Termination Due to HG (Dying inside)

[Onlyiknow]

just want to let everyone know that i am now much better and a lot stronger with the dealings of my situation. i am FOREVER grateful for this site and for each of your posts and comfort. you all don't know what this did for me. helped take me out of that dark place. can't say that i am fully recovered (i still have my moments) but it has been a little easier. lots of HUGS to you all

thanks soo much for the kind words! and also i would like to know when TTC again, what did you do to help prepare? what helped and how was it for you the next time around? hope to hear from any of you..

[beyondthepale]

i am so incredibly happy that you have found your way out of the dark place that you were in. only those of us who have gone through it truly understand so please believe me when i say i feel your pain and it will get better as time passes.

after we termed in september, i have been trying to eat healthy (a little harder with the holidays) and i have scheduled appointments with 3 different ob/gynes (one we didn't like) and i have two more appts in january. basically, we're looking to see what doctor will be optimistic about our situation as our previous ob/gynes were at a complete loss. i am fully ready for the fact that hg may very well occur again and so i'm keeping that on the forefront of my mind so i'm not shocked again.

in addition to looking for "the doctor" i have actually gone in to my regular physician for full blood work and so that helped because i can focus on the vitamins that my body needs before we ttc again. i have also followed up with a gastroenterologist because i've always had very bad heartburn issues (even when i'm not pregnant) and he put me on an acid reducer to try to heal up some of my esophogus and stomach. and i've already started on the vitamin b6 (minus the unisom) to get my body used to taking it. the vitamin b6/unisom combo unfortunately wasn't learned about until i was spiraling completely out of control.

basically, if you can, just try and focus on yourself. focus on what you want, focus on trying to become stronger mentally and know that whatever happens, it's temporary. that's where i fell short. i was only thinking of the here and now, but you have to think, in 6, 7, 8 months, i will have a baby. and honestly, if it wasn't for this site, i don't think i would have ever been able to get into this mindset. this website is truly a blessing.

have a great holiday season and please continue to keep us posted on your journey, and i'll do the same, and who knows, maybe we'll be making baby announcements within the next year or so. keep your head up.

[slterwil]

I don't have any advice on preparing to TTC again because I was sort of clueless about HG and didn't know what I was getting into the second time around. I did make sure that I gained all the weight I lost in the first pregnancy back. Having that cushion was helpful (I'm about 20 pounds over weight for my height/body build). I just wanted to say I was thinking of you and that I'm happy to hear that you are finding healing. Losses, no matter how they happen, are a very difficult thing to overcome. It took us a long time (mine weren't HG related) to heal from them, but after you get over that first hurdle, the pain definitely lessens. You are such a strong, brave woman. Don't you ever forget that. You faced a monster totally unprepared. We will all be here cheering you on if and when you try again. You won't be alone next time. Your HG sisters will have your back for the good and the bad. HUGS.

[misspanthera]

Hi to all,

I will trying to write in english as the best as i can, because i live near Montreal in Quebec (Canada) and i'm a french canadian!

I had 2 HG pregnancy very difficult, and i had to terminate both because i was very sick. It's a terrible decision to take and today i don't feel good about this I'm very sad and i want a baby...

I want to be pregnant one more time, (the good one!!)
but i'm feel ''guilty'' to try, i'm scared to suffering and about what people thinking about this. I feel like as i ''kill'' my 2 babys and i don't want to loss another one...but i'm unable to live without baby in my life.

I want to succeed this time, really want....but i don't know how (
Some of you got it?

[Onlyiknow]

@ beyondthepale thank you so much, it feels good to know that i am not alone. i think that's what made me fall in love w/ this site (knowing i wasn't alone) reading some of the stories i would think i wrote them myself. Hg is so missunderstood, so this was a relief to me. i appreciate you sharing your journey with me. PLEASE continue to do so! the support from here has brought me so far and i know with TTC again i will need it. sending you lots of blessings and wishing you well on your journey! message me anytime or post again so that i can keep up

@ slterwil i appreciate you so much! you've been w/ me from the beginning and i thank you for thinking of me. i have come far from the day when i first posted on here. i can now say that i have life again! it gets pretty hard sometimes, i still break down and it hurts to see so many pregnant women bc of my job, but i take deep breaths and try to take it one day at a time. i have to continue to come on the site as a reminder from time to time but over all? i am doing much much better. you ladies are the BEST! and i will carry each of your words/advise with me. thank you <3

[Onlyiknow]

@ misspanthera so sorry for your loss. i have been where you are. a very dark place of regrets, crying day and night, feeling guilty, hating myself and dying inside. i would go through so many emotions day in and day out. i can not say what would help to take your pain away but just kow that w/ time it does get a little easier. do the hurt ever go away? i don't think so but you have to learn what to do with it. you can not let it defeat you. take this as a opportunity to raise awareness about HG. research as much as you can, i found this to be empowering for when ever i decide to try again. i will conquer it this time! i now know more then what i started with, so it gives me some hope and the ladies on this site will get you through it! them and lots of prayers. you have to be your own coach sometimes when it gets difficult, but whatever helps you come to a happy place? continue to use it! allow yourself to heal and go through the motions just remember to take it easy on yourself. HG did this to you, you didn't do anything. if you TTC again, it's possible that it wont be the "normal" pregnancy that we all hope for, but the positive thing about it is.. you now know more and you have this site for support. just prepare yourself as much as you can. my thoughts are with you! sending you blessings and hoping that you find comfort in the forums. the ladies here are GREAT [/b]

[Onlyiknow]

hello everyone ::waves:: i have been keeping up with the site from time to time and it looks like i will be returning for LOTS of support just recently took a test and to a surprise a faint positive appeared. if calculations are correct i am almost 5 weeks and i am scared to death of what's ahead

[Cin]

We're here for you, honey. Hang in there, get on meds ASAP, get a good doc, and keep posting.

Much love to you!