I know I personally have different expectations for people in their 20's vs. 30's vs. 40's. I'm 37 and truly believe my 40's are going to be my best decade. I have so much more figured out now thanks to therapy and time. Not that there aren't lovely, mature people in their 20's, but it's definitely a time of growth and discovery.
My 20's weren't the best time. I was making decent money, traveled and had lots of fun, but I was also dramatic and had childhood baggage that I didn't realize ran so deep. My 30's began a huge learning curve, especially with marriage and kids, and I'm just getting comfortable in my own skin.
I'm trying to say delicately that your neice isn't at the place yet where she thinks of others as much as herself, so probably didn't realize how painful your losses were to you and how much you would have appreciated her support. If she experiences that, I think she would have a new understanding of that kind of pain. I thought boyfriend breakups were hard in my 20's,...but crickey! I hadn't had a miscarriage or HG yet! Those are some problems that make you grow. Then, you meet friends with fertility issues, trisomy 18 babies, multiple miscarriages, or accidental losses, and your world of sympathy and perspective grows exponentially.
Your friends here understand. I think it's hard for all of us to see easy conceptions and dreamy pregnancies. Even if it happens to people we love. It's a bittersweet feeling we share here, but harder to share with others.
Elliott, Kate, and Cole