When do you stop worrying about miscarriage?

[E-Mom]

I was just writing a post in the "No More For Me" forum and I was falling all over myself with "assuming this pregnancy goes well"...

I posted this here instead of the first tri, because I don't want to freak anyone there out. The poor things have enough to worry about.

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in 2006. At all three first appointments with my OB, I held my breath until I saw a sac and heartbeat. I'm 10 weeks now, and sometimes I skip a Zofran pill just to make sure I'm still nauseous and pregnant. Yes, I'm nausous when I skip one, so I keep thinking things are going well. With my miscarriage I actually told my husband, "Gosh, I don't even feel pregnant anymore, I must be getting better because I'm closer to the 2nd trimester!"

I may have just answered my own question. I miscarried at this point, so maybe that's why it's beeen haunting me the last few days.

I hate that I'm so worried about it.

[*Mel*]

I have never miscarried, but i did feel like this or something happening to the baby after it was born, like born sleeping, something else being wrong. I just think its mothers instinct to make sure our babies are okay. I finally just said, I had to stop worrying myself because it was stressing me out. I know its easier said then done, esp if you miscarried before. Good luck, hopefully you can just let your mind at ease and concentrate on the pregnancy !

[Cat]

I don't think I've stopped worrying about it ever. I miscarried 2 weeks before getting pregnant with this one. I had no clue we could even conceive so quickly. I have a doppler so I can listen when I get scared... but if I have a day or even a couple hours where I feel good I get worried.

Hang in there, and try to stay positive.

[jarezuny]

I don't know if you ever stop worrying.

I had a missed miscarriage (blighted ovum, whatever you want to call it) and I still had the HG symptoms. Empty sac with all the nausea and vomiting - SO awful. The next pregnancy I worried about it in the back of my mind the entire time - even with the nausea and everything. Every ultrasound helped reassure me a bit, but I was still always a little worried that something would go wrong or that the ultrasounds were wrong.

At the same time, I tried to remind myself of how many babies actually do make it all the way through, safe and sound. Sometimes that worked to take my mind off all the worry!

It's so hard - there's nothing that you can do and worrying is just natural for moms-to-be... Hang in there! Hopefully you'll worry less and less as the big arrival date approaches!

[slterwil]

This is my sixth pregnancy. I have one living child. I had three miscarriages that after loads of testing and genetic testing for me and my DH came up as idiopathic--you know, basically we don't know why you just can't seem to keep them in there but thanks for spending money on tests the insurance doesn't cover. It was really rough. After the three miscarriages I had a ruptured tubal, only it didn't show up on U/S. I kept hopefully going back looking forward to seeing what was supposed to be in my uterus and crossing my fingers that we'd just miscalculated the dates. That time, with great compassion, my doc suggested a "managed miscarriage" to me, basically a type of abortion. I leapt at the chance to be spared the pain I'd been through of laboring to pass what was left of my failed pregnancies. Thank goodness I did too because after the procedure I was still pregnant according to bloodtests. That's when I was offered either chemo or exploratory surgery to fix things. Thank goodness I chose the exploratory surgery because apparently I had had internal bleeding for days.

For my fifth pregnancy (and this one too) I was put on a regimine by my doc of things that might help me for possible reasons that were unknown why I was miscarrying. I had to take 4mg (way over the normal pregnant dose) of folic acid since I might have a deficiency, a baby aspirin daily in case I was clotting my babies, and progesterone just in case my body is so wacked out it doesn't produce enough. Needless to say, I was so happy to feel so very pregnant and sick with my daughter before that first doc visit. When we saw what was supposed to be there, finally, after all the other times I just cried and cried. But, I was scared the whole pregnancy that it was just too good to be true. For me, the most reassuring thing was getting to the point that I felt her kick and move around in there. I was convinced that it could all be taken away like before. I went into early labor at 25 weeks and again at 27 due to dehydration, though we didn't quite realize it at the time. Both times they used medicine to stop the labor and then finally gave me a prescription to take at the first sign of contractions until I was 36 weeks. The goal was to make it to 30 weeks and I made it to 37.

This time around I'm at 13 1/2 weeks. I'm still scared all the time, especially since I've been sicker this time and unable to stay hydrated like with my daughter. Today, to combat that, I did something positive for my mental outlook, I cleaned out the bassinet and got out the boxes of baby clothes that have been burried in my daughter's closet to have ready to sort through when we find out the sex in a little while. I just had to do it. I had to say, yep I know it's early still, but I'm optimistic this one is going to go all the way too. I feel better than I've felt in days just acknowledging how much I really do want this little one to get here safely no matter how miserable I have felt and feel. I can't wait to feel the kicking this time. It made every day of being sick worth it. I look at my daughter now and just marvel at her.

[E-Mom]

Thanks for sharing your story, Sandy. I love your definition of idiopathic!
I'm over 14 weeks now, (I always up-grade myself to "almost 15 weeks") and I'm feeling more confident now.

I was so naive when I had my miscarriage. I just thought it would never happen to me, and I didn't know any friends who had one. Until I had one, of course, then they came out of the woodwork. Now, I've heard much worse, and my friends and I started having more kids and more miscarriages and I just had no idea how prevalent and sad they were.

Do you have a gender preference? I have a boy and a girl, so I could go either way. I can't wait to find out soon, though! We'll be able to celebrate all of our milestones together! We can look forward to that!

[slterwil]

I'm glad you liked my definition of idiopathic. It's great that we're only a week apart. It's nice to have someone else out there to cheer on to the milestones.

So, yeah, I'm a little pathetic about what I want. Truly I just want a healthy baby, but I've got my hopes set on another girl. I guess because I already have a girl I just can't imagine having a boy. Some of it for practical reasons too since I have girl clothes out the wazoo. My daughter was born in October and was in Newborn size for what felt like forever. We actually didn't have any newborn clothes when she was born except for five onsies and a sleeper 'cause we figured 0-3 months would work. First thing we did when we left the hospital was go buy clothes that fit her since she didn't wear 0-3 for months. I have my fingers crossed that if this one is a girl all the clothes we have will be sized perfectly for the stages and the weather. It'll be fine if we have to go out and buy boy clothes though. I love goodwill and once upon a child, though since the economy tanked it's harder to get good deals at goodwill than it once was.