Family secrets- HG losses

[butterfly]

Over the holidays I spent time with older family members I don't usually see. During that time I unearthed some family secrets about HG. I knew that my grandmother (who passed when I was 12) had HG. What I didn't know was that she was forced to terminate her fourth child at about 5 months of pregnancy due to HG. Her organs were shutting down and her kidneys were failing. I also discovered the real reason that my aunt's last baby died after living only a day. I knew that she had HG, but thought the birth defects were unrelated. Then I learned that what was given to her to treat the HG caused the birth defects which lead to her baby passing away. This is all so unspeakably sad to me that these babies had to die and their families suffer so much. Back in the 1940s-1950s there wasn't so much that could be done and the OBs were even more uneducated on the issue back then. It really hits home because I know this could have been me had I been born earlier. I inherited this sad legacy, although I was luckier than them as we made it. But, I just feel such sorrow even though it happened a long time ago.

[samarpana]

It runs in my family too. My Mom had it in all of 4 pregnancies and had to terminate one. Later, I learned that a cousin also suffered from this, as did her daughter. And I'd be willing to bet my grandmothers did too. When I experienced HG, we did hypnosis to see if we could find any resolution. At that time, I knew nothing of my Mother or family problem with HG. Under deep hypnosis, the words that came out of my mouth were,

"This is not my body, this is my Mother's body. This is everything she thought, felt and experienced."

After this, I interrogated my Mom about it and she decides to finally tell me she had it and it "runs in the family." I took this all as personal validation that my HG is a genetic problem and not "all in my head".

Family "secrets" are a sad thing. My Mom waited until I was pregnant at 37 and nearly dying to inform me of the likely risk. If I had known, I could have prepared properly or chosen never to pursue pregnancy in the first place. Instead, I was not set up with proper medical care in advance. And I was totally thrown off guard in all the worst ways with no clue what to do. I was forced to terminate because of this. As I approach 40, the days of pursuing babies is over for me and I am left childless with a lifetime left of traumatic memories, stemming from both the HG and the Loss. It's difficult for me not to feel anger towards my Mom and a whole lot of other unkind things which I won't mention here. All I can say is: Gee, thanks for telling me Mom......

[butterfly]

I'm sorry for your loss and the trauma that HG created. I think it was kept silent in my family because of the stigma of having an abortion, especially back then. I doubt my grandmother probably told many apart from her daughter(s). My Dad didn't even know (he would have been a toddler. He couldn't tell me because he had no idea his mother had HG. His oldest sister who had it worst was 10 years older than him, so he wasn't really paying attention when she was pregnant and living in another state. She didn't realize what she had, had a name or gave a lot of thought to it being genetic since she had sons. So, it had not recurred for 50+ years in my family when I got it. It was just not something I guess you talked about back then.

[jarezuny]

Wow. Absolutely heart-wrenching. There are just so many aspects to how very difficult HG can be (and was).

[Caitlin's mom]

How very sad

[Barbnj]

This just hit a chord with me. So tragic really as I sit here in the same circumstances. My sister had pretty bad hg but I never
put the two together. She was still able to mull herself into NYC to work but I remember picking her up at the train station
with her standing b/t the train cars bc the nausea was so bad.
I was only 24 and did not know about hg.

Fast fwd to our much wanted loved ivf preg. I hadn't found you lovely ladies yet so I was still blind sided with a Fertility Dr who said
we don't treat until the first trimester. By the time 6 weeks rolled along I was down 18 pounds. I only made it to 10 weeks
30 pounds down vomiting blood and living on stale room air unaware of hydration via iv's or naso gastric. With a raging UTI
given ab's to tackle down on empty stomach..which later caused two gastric ulcers I had to heal.
You know where this is going.

In survival mode suffering from malnutrition your mind is not your own. I lie her childless and too so sad I'll never hold my babies.
My first preg ended in a mc. My IVF ended horribly.
How I hate this disease and how it still makes me so dang pissed that in 2007 we still dont have a cure or protocol.
Medical schools have to change!!

Hugs and Love yr way from a stranger who is your hg sister.

Barb

[DivineLotus]

Very sad.

In my family my mom and aunts had NVP. I'm not sure if she had HG. Its hard to tell bc they don't talk much in detail. Which is what gets me angry. If my mom would have told me something. I could have not suffered as much as I did and decide to never get pregnant again. Some communication goes a long way. As much as saving an unborn baby.