A little stressed any advice......

[Bethers]

Hi you guys.......

Ok I am trying to really prep since I have only 4-5 months before we ttc. I am trying to remember to take my folic acid I am not great about remembering. I am on WW to take off 30-45 lbs. (Everyone's like why you will only gain it back with pregnancy THEY DON'T KNOW HG NOW DO THEY HAHAHA). As you have seen from my last post I love my new OB. She will be awesome. I try to come on the site as much as I can. But here's what I am dealing with. I used to be a paralegal but since last year being on bed rest with the last pregnancy, my job was given away the day before i terminated and since we had planned on adopting I started up a small 5 child daycare. I did this when Jus was little. I used to also be a preschool teacher so I teach it. Well, why I am stressed you ask...... I have this one parent in the daycare who is kind of a nut. She is trying to talk me out of getting prego because she doesn't want me to be on bedrest and not be able to watch her child because my rates are really good and I teach a full preschool program. Yes, she is being very selfish. I have a emerg backup person lined up for all my other parents but not her. I don't want her back. She is driving me nuts. Trying to go to hair appts with me and wanting to do stuff with me etc. Telling me I didn't need to get a 3rd dog my Yorkie. etc. as now she can never pet my other dogs? Don't ask? I have no idea where she comes up with what she says. I am having a small gathering with my friends Oct 8 kind of a Halloween early party / Housewarming she invited herself. Ugh. And I am too nice to say anything. I hate that about me. hahaha She is driving me nuts. I would give her notice now but i took her on as extra and she could get me in trouble with the county if I give her the boot now. So I am stuck with this nut till i tell her I am prego. My g/f's have suggested telling her in a month or two that i am prego and give her the boot then. She doesn't need to know that I am not. I mean who needs this stress when trying to prep for HG. Ugh. Sorry to vent. I knew you guys would understand though.

Thanks for any and all advice.

[BrandiJK]

What a sticky spot to be in! Could you clarify something? When you say you took her on as an extra, do you mean you took her on through county assistance, or as an assistant to the day care? I can't figure out how she could get you in trouble, so I am thinking it's the term I don't understand.

That is pretty selfish. Yes, as mama's, we want to look for the best day cares around for our children. However, this does not means the mom's needs can be put in front of the care givers. And, it sounds like she is assuming she is your friend by inviting herself to your private events, and into your life, even giving you what she feels is advise on your life and choices to become pregnant.

I understand wanting to be nice, and I also understand that I am overly blunt...so in the area of a middle ground between us...I would say the next time she pushes herself into your life in the guise of friendship, you should remark that friends need are generally supportive of eachother. And not only that, but help each other through hard times, not push to make it harder. Her lack of support (which clearly sounds as if itis for her benefit alone) is proof positive of a one sided friendship.

It sounds like it very well may come to a point where you just have to step up and let her know that you two do not have a personal relationship outside of the day care, and that your day care will indeed be closed down while you are ill. Follow this up by saying that perhaps if there is space, you will think about taking her child in again once well, and then consider that space filled with your new baby. Hopefully, by this time she will have moved on to another day care and be leaching friendship from that provider. LOL

Maybe she is a little gift from God for you, a reason to be thankful for HG! You may get sick, but you won't have to deal with her anymore!

[Bethers]

Meaning I am in the process of getting licensed and took her on as an extra family early. That's how she could cause problems. She had been through other daycares 2 before me and her child was oinly 6 months at time. He has been with me for 9. She is a pill. Telling me to wait a couple of years. She is mad to that we got out of the adoption as she is adopted. She is also a nut telling me to not encourage her son to walk as she wants to film it as he is starting to learn to walk. She is kooky. There is so much more...... Where do i start. hahaha

[_Laurie]

Bethers,
I can understand a little of what you're dealing with here. I babysat full time for a neighbor of mine when my first was little. When I was going to get pg, I had to explain to my friend that I'd have to stop babysitting and tried to explain HG, etc and why I'd have to quit. Since I was providing childcare wayyyyyy too cheap, she was disappointed, and tried to convince me that I'd be able to do it and had I tried crakers before getting out of bed in the morning? I felt like slapping her. In the end, I found out I was pg and wrote her a very kind 2 weeks notice.

I'm sure you'll figure out just how to handle this crazy woman. Just remember to not let her get under your skin, ok?

[Bethers]

She is a nut that's all I can say. Very moody up and down. She wanted the free preschool program I teach and doesn't want to have to pay to put her child in preschool etc plus like you said cheap rates. I used to be a preschool teacher also..... so she wants me to put my life on hold and expanding my family till her needs are met. Weird.

[bibliojo]

Ugh! That lady is a horrible selfish woman! I'm sorry that you are stuck in such an awful situation... Is there any other way you can get ride of her without having to lie and say that you are pregnant before you really are? (I'm just wondering if you would be fully protected if she decided to sue you as with her already being a nut case I wouldn't be too suprised if she pulled a stunt like that) If there isn't any way to get rid of her and you have to put up with her until you do actually get pregnant, maybe do things for yourself like a night out, a steaming hot bath, a good book, etc that will be your treat for putting up with her. Or we could just pray for some miracle that she decide to change childcare providers on her own! Like Laurie said, don't let her get to you! It's just not worth it...

Joanna

[Bethers]

Thanks girl. I think I am stuck with her until I either get my license or get pregnant. I know I hate to lie too. I got my hair done without her Sat so she will be ticked about that. I hope she doesn't come to my party on Sat night with my friends. It will be so awkward. She invited herself. Ugh. Ugh. and Ugh. hahahaha