"speacial nihgt" with other children before hg hit

[halgal427]

i just thought i would share something i did with my girls this week. i am 5wk 1 day pg and still feeling great. i know that i have about a week left if i'm lucky and i'm trying to prepare as best i can. part of that preperation is taking my dds out one at a time for a "special night". i started doing this with my girls after i had my 3rd dd was born. my 2nd dd had behavior problems and as part of a reward system she would have a special night with mom and it helped SO much. whenever her behavior started to go down hill a special night would improve it. i decided that i will do a special night this week and next week before i get sick to let them know that i understand how hard it will be on them when i am sick.

i let them pick what they want to do. my dd#1 (8 yrs) loves to go to a speacial dinner out and my dd#2 (4.5 yrs)likes a movie and dinner at the foodcourt at the mall. i reccomend this for everyone even if you aren't facing hg but particularlly when facing something as big as hg. if money is an issue my dd's both love going to the library and reading there for awhile together. my dh stays with my other kids so i don't have to hire a babysitter. if you need to go at night and the library is closed we also go to barnes and noble (or another big bookstore) and read books there. it is really about 1 on 1 time no matter what you do.

i know many woman, myself included, have a lot of guilt about how HG affects your other kids. it can be really hard on them but hg will end and mom will be back ready to resume life as usual (+ 1 baby)

if it is too late and hg has already hit, consider doing something really great as a reward as soon as you possibly can. or maybe on a "better" hg day you can do something special on the couch while dh has other kids. maybe play a game or even just watch a favorite movie while hugging. if not... the time will come.

another thing i did for my girls was bought a few "thinking of you" and "thank you" cards from walmart and decorated them and have them ready to give to my girls over the course of the next few months. my middle dd can't read so i drew a picture of me and her holding hands. she loves that. i will leave them in a special spot for them to find. just a nice way to let them know i'm thinking of them.

this all sounds so "mr. rogers" which if you knew me, its not my style. even if it doesn't really help them it helps my own piece of mind. i feel like i'm trying and i think my girls will feel that. i know that one more thing to do is not what anyone needs but i made the time now before i won't be able to.

good luck and best wishes,

[masondavis]

Kim, Thanks for posting this! I had HG with my daughter, who is now 4 1/2 years old. I am now 5 weeks pregnant, and I feel like a ticking time bomb. I feel fine now, but I know I did then too. I'm most scared of how she will feel if and when it comes back. I definitely think you have some great ideas when it comes to letting your kids know you love them - and that's what it's all about.

Thanks for sharing that. Best wishes to you!

Joyce