A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
A lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn`t feeling well and went to see her doctor. After examining her he said, "You are pregnant. Please understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a miracle."
The lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I`m pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackerel!"
And my fave...lol
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu ?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better