All my life I have been the life of the party, the person who could make anyone happy. I've been told on my occasion that I light up a room when I walk in. With that in mind, I found out when I was 16 that I have a very bad case of endometriosis, since then I have had 2 surgeries to remove scar tissue. When I was young they told me that I would have difficulty conceiving, then I could have cared less. But fast forward 7 years and Im married and it started to become my worst fear. After only a couple months of trying and a significant amount of discussions with Drs and family about alternative methods of conceiving, we were PREGNANT. Greatest day of my life! So with that in mind I digress.
After 6 weeks of continous vomiting I decided it was time to talk to the Dr. I went in for an ultrasound and office visit, at that time I was brushed off and made to think that my vomiting incesintly was nothing out of the ordinary. So I went on with life as usual, working 40+ hrs as a stock broker and coming home and playing wife. All the while as you all know, with no nutrition or hydration. It wasn't until 3 weeks after that 1st visit that I spoke with my Drs again and at that point this problem seemed to peak more interest. Needless to say when I went in I was sent directly to the hospital for hydration. That seemed to become a pretty regular event until they decided to have me do the at home hydration. At that point I was taken out of work (My work has been fabulous about this) At first they weren't sure how long I was going to need the hydration so I had a midline placed in ly right arm, that lasted about 3 weeks until I got phlobitis and the line had to be removed. That evening when the midline was removed I had a peripheral placed in my left hand to get me through to the next day for my PICC. That next day I went in for my PICC and the nurse, I have to add this for a little humor, pricked me 8 times to get the line in. 8 times! Let me tell you, I loved that PICC, granted I was still vomiting everything I ate, but was able to take the zofran IV instead so it seemed to help, not cure but help. 2 more weeks passed with only hydration and my weight continued to plumit, down 12 lbs, down 16 lbs, finally my Drs said enough and started TPN. TPN, nifty invention. Give someone with no previous experiance a needle to inject vitamins into a bag, good thing I got used to it, it comes in handy now. I loved that little packpac, yes I had to wear it for 14 hrs a day, but it wasn't an IV pole that I had to stay in one level of my house for 5 hrs. So, the PICC lasted a month until I had told my in home nurse that my arm hurt like the phlobitis that I had previously. (I forgot to mention that a week earlier I was in the ER they thought I had a PE) I went back to the ER and saw the same ER Dr again and ran morecardio ultrasounds on my arms to low and behold show that I have a blood clot. So out comes the PICC and now I have injections twice a day that I have to give myself in the stomache for 90 days to try to get rid of the clot. So you must be thinking " The PICC line is how she got fed and she still isn't keeping any food at all down, not even fluids, what other choices do they have?" Lucky me my Dr is very resoucesfull. I now have a tube called a NG tube that is through my nose and goes directly to my stomache. Im not able to do much through it in a day but a little helps. I spent the next couple days in the hospital and the day before thanksgiving was released. I've only had to go back to the Dr aside from normal visits a couple times, once the line coming back up and another for it clogging. Now just in case some do not know this, it is really important to have something going into the stomache regardless of how sick it makes you. When they had me on the TPN I was not allowed to even try to eat. With the NG tube, your intestines have a chance to work, that is really important otherwise as with any muscle it will atrophy.
Now that we have covered me medically I wanted to share how I have been feeling. Like I said, the day I found out we were pregnant was the happiest day of my life. Since the begining I've been in the same position as many of you, I vomit no matter what, I have no energy; so little at times I dont want to move. I cant at the point even sleep with my husband in our bed because I have to sleep at a 30-40 degree angle, so I spend my night on the couch reclined as my husband yells down the stairs he misses me. Even with all this, Im as happy if not happier than I was 6 months ago. See being pregnant to me has been a blessing, everyday I thank God for my little girl, I thank him for my husband who has taken the best care of me and most of all I thank him for mine and my babys health. Yes, i might be sick as a dog but my little girl is great, perfectly healthy and happy. So going back to how people used to tell me how happy I was. Since going to the Drs and the hospital every two weeks right from the begining and the multiple visits to the maternity ward that I have shared with the nurses there I have been told everytime that they cannot believe my spirits about all this. I've even been told by several nurses they want to help me in delivery. I tell you this because I could be one of the women who feel defeated by this, or that I have be sabatoged but I can't. Im too grateful. For me, and this is not for everyone, but again for me if I keep a positive attitude about it, it helps. I have my off days where I cant get out of my own way, but I just keep in mind that it is all for a reason, the most incredible thing that I as a woman am able to do.
I hope that this gives someone hope out there, that is what it is intended for.
My heart goes out to all of you who are going through this and Im here to talk if anyone wants to.
I just found out wednesday at my level 2 ultrasound that we are having a girl. We are thrilled!