what to do with unwanted friends?

[candylds]

Since my HG kicked on, I have been very unfriendly to other people. I want to be alone in my house without visitors. Friends keep calling me and want to visit me. I tell them that I don't feel good and right now is not a good time, some of them understand but others not. Yesterday a friend of mine came to my house and ringed the door bell for like 20 minutos. She called my cellphone and just wouldn't go away!...I was tired and did not want to see anyone, but I knew that if I did not open the door she would be there until next day. I talked to her, she cried and told me how worry she is for me. She again tried to tell me that she believed she had HG when she was pregnant but she was still able to cook and clean. So I should do the same. Then she talked about depression and how but it is and that she is worry I will try to kill myself and my other son, because those were het thoughts when she was depressed. I was so annoyed by it, but I tried to be nice. I am not going to kill myself or my boy. I don't suffer of depression in my real life....HG does horrible things to you and when I said that I want to die.....I don't really mean that I want to....... I just feel like I am going to because of all the vomiting, nauseas and pain in my body.
Maybe with my comments I have brought this to myself?.... Now I feel that I can't tell " my friends" how I really feel because they are going to be coming next day thinking that I will kill myself. I guess I just have to tell them that I am ok.
Is it to bad to want to be alone?... I feel the best when I am in my bed alone. I am hiring a girl to come play with my boy 4 hours per day and I think that will help; but the thought of people coming over is very scary for me....to the point that I get sick......do you think I am doing the right thing?.. or should I let all my friends come over and hang out here.?.... I don't really want that though.
How do you guys deal with this kind of situations?....
Thanks in advance.

[beyondthepale]

i know for me i became very unfriendly with everyone b/c i was just so physically miserable and i didn't want to keep explaining how i was feeling to everyone....plus the fact that most of my friends already have kids and they were offering my advice from their own pregnancies that were NOTHING like mine at all. when people called, i didn't answer but i texted back saying it wasn't a good time. i know maybe it's not the best to be alone all the time but i understand how you feel. you may want to tell your friends that if they do come over, they have to understand that you may just want to hang out and watch tv or something and not talk a whole lot (b/c for me i always got more nauseous after talking for more than a few minutes). or when you talk with friends, you talk about something else besides trying to explain how you're feeling, etc.

[DebbieS]

I was very specific about what help I wanted from my friends. Eg for particular friends I would say I don't want food/help/visits but that I would appreciate a weekly phone call. It has to be right for you though. If you think that a friend might be too much of a nuisance ringing you, ask to communicate by text or email instead (explaining it may take some time to respond, or that your husband may respond instead). With HG motion, noise, smells, light can make it worse & bedrest can help it so you could use this as a reason for not having visits. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be by yourself and not do entertaining.

[Brynn1984]

I was the same during my darkest days. I definitely felt worse after talking. Could you write your friends an email explaining that you are grateful for their support, but that you feel physically worse if you have people over? At the same time though, do you have someone at home helping to take care of you? Like a partner or parent? If not, maybe you could ask your friends to just sit with you and be there for when you need something.

[candylds]

My husband dedicates all his time after work to me and I have two young woman coming everyday to help me with my son and cleaning the house. I think I am set...I don't really need anyone else besides the suppor of my family. I talked to my friends but they just don't get it and insist that I need company. This situation with unwanted friends is making me more sick because I am afraid of them coming to my house everyday. I live in fear. I already sent them emails telling them about my situation. Do you think I should just be rude and tell them that I don't want to see them. My nice voice doesn't seem to do the trick. Thanks

[Brynn1984]

Absolutely! You have the right to tell them to go away if you don't want to see them. They (obviously) don't understand HG (and really who can if they haven't been through it?), so maybe refer them to the non-forum part of this site so they can get some info and try to see what you are going through. But yes, you do what is best for you!!

[DivineLotus]

I agree with Brynn. If you have not gone threw HG than they won't understand it and never will.

I didn't have friends that would come over and only 1 stayed in contact. Threw text only. She never came over because she would read how sick I was. If you don't want them to come over then its ok and they should understand. You were very patient with her. I would have kicked her out. 'She thought she had HG but could still cook'... for f sake. Grrr...

[Cin]

This "friend" is being a nuisance because she is a narcissist. Your illness is all about HER, in her mind.

She came over and talked on and on and on abut herself? Yeah, NO. Not OK.

Big hugs to you.